Saturday, October 22, 2011

I'm Not Backing Down

I'm not going to name names, but I hate it when people try to not accommodate S1. I'll be vague because although I don't think the offendee will read this blog, it's not just them, it's the way people in general generally deal with those with disabilities-especially with mental/cognitive ones. They don't consciously say, "let's exclude S1", but they don't think about what will be needed to include him. Then at the last minute, accommodations can be difficult to make.

It's something he's supposed to participate in. Just because you are going to have to make some minor adjustments to make room for his helper, don't expect me to back down and say "Oh, we'll just keep him home since it's so much trouble" because it will make things easier for YOU. It should have been part of the plan from the beginning. Because you know what, it's not about you, it's about S1 and what he is supposed to be doing. I know you may be stressed, but this is not the way to relieve your stress. I guess they don't realize how many accommodations and adjustments I've had to make to my dreams, hopes, life, and goals, how I've had to reorganize my entire life. If people did, they'd never behave that way.

Let me make it clear, I was never told nor asked to keep him home. However, that is what I was feeling pressured to do in not so many words as we politely went back and forth over the situation. But I held my ground about his participation. Maybe it was all in my head, but I don't think so. It's also hard because I don't know this person that well, but I will be over the coming months. The person is also new to this job so they are still learning-which is why even though I'm not super happy about having to be so firm (I really don't like confrontation, but I'll do it if it's needed), I don't hold it against them or have any hard feelings. In fact, they've been very attentive and trying to learn what S1 needs so they can better serve him, not to mention getting to know our family and what we need. It's just a situation that we have encountered over and over again with family, the school district, and programs/peoples in general. I just dislike having to teach people all the time. Especially right now when I am so worn down and tired and waiting for marching band to be done!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

People learn. If you insist on S1's participation, they learn to plan, prepare and execute the plan - if only because things turn out less chaotic that way. If you kept S1 at home, they would learn that "S1 never comes anyway so I don't have to plan, prepare and execute for his participation." Keep up the good work - and I do know that it is work.