Friends

I've found that through the years sometimes I think, do I have any friends? You may not know this, but growing up I suffered from severe self worth issues. Why would anyone like me when everyone else was so much prettier/smarter/cooler? Although I've mostly overcome them (or suppressed them), sometimes those old insecurities sneak back. So, I guess before I can answer my question that first I have to define what a friend is. It can be a neighbor, a relative, an old school chum, a mission companion, the mother of my son's friends, someone from church or work. And what a friend is can change through the years. A friend in high school was someone with whom I ate lunch, had sleepovers, or went with to movies and dances or to whom I kvetched about parents and boys. A friend in college was someone I did homework with, shared an apartment with, hung out with after institute or went to young single adult dances with and to whom I discussed young men. Well, once I got married I no longer had homework and my husband filled most of those other roles. A friend was then someone I could kvetch to about my husband and kids!!! When I got married I also moved which physically separated me from many friends. Sometimes I think I have no friends because I can go days without chatting with one. My friend and neighbor Stacy may swear I call her at least twice most days, but sometimes I think she's the only friend I have. Until I think about what a friend really is. A friend is someone whom you like (and usually they like you back), that even though you may not see each other often, when together again it's like you were never even separated and you still have a great time together. Just because we don't chat every day or every week doesn't mean we aren't friends - it's just that life (aka family, work, church, distance) can get in our way. A friend is also there to help you out when you need it.

This all came about because Dave suggested that I go out with a friend to breakfast this week since he was home. He also was going to go out with one of his fellow band directors so he thought I should get out too. I was kind of stumped. Who wouldn't think I was weird calling and asking them out to breakfast? Did I have any friends anyway? I thought about it for a while and I realized that I had many friends. Yeah, I really wished my cousin lived closer than an eleven hour drive, but I'd have to chose someone else. As I pondered the possibilities, I finally came up with a friend who I knew when we our husbands were in college. I hadn't seen her in months, but we had mutual interest and always enjoyed hanging out together. I called and she accepted and we had a great time. It was so nice to get out and chat with her about all that was going on, what our plans for the future are, etc. We even hit the Outlet Mall on the way home. She agreed that it was hard to get out and do something for herself. It has inspired me to take a wider look around and make this breakfast thing something that I do once a month and invite someone different each time. I need to make a concerted effort to have more fun with my friends and not to let the details of life get in the way!